I have never not posted often since I began blogging long ago. Even when my life got crazy, had babies, I always managed to blog weekly. Even if it wasn’t daily, at least 3 times a week at those crazy times.
But, man has it been a shit storm lately. One bad thing after another has been happening. The past two years have been tough, with Rocco’s autism diagnosis, his challenges he faces, marriage issues, and the baby’s lung mass found when I was 19 weeks pregnant. I thought 2017 would start off smooth and be a good start, even though we knew it would be a hard April with Elisabetta’s surgery. We just were excited for calm until then, as she was here and we didn’t have those scary weekly appointments to handle when I was pregnant.
But, you can’t predict things and you have to just roll with whatever life throws at you, even if you want to think it’s not fair.
You just have to trust God and let go.
Well, from Anthony’s bad car accident, to pap passing, a hospital stay for baby, and THEN last week another hospital stay for baby. My nerves are shot.
I was on stress level one million when Rocco was sick again two weeks ago. I prayed to God that Elisabetta wouldn’t get sick, and tried to be calm while taking care of Rocco. How could I keep them apart?! I knew her getting sick was just going to happen, and it did.
I woke up that Friday February 10th to a congested baby with a cough. She wasn’t drinking her formula and throwing up more than once, which is not her. I knew I had to get her to the hospital, so off we went that afternoon.
Of course, she ended up getting admitted and I stayed with her while Mike went home to be with Rocco. Luckily, I had my one sister Angela watch him while we went to the hospital. He was doing better too sick wise, which was a relief. Last thing I needed was a sick kid at home and one in the hospital.
I packed a bag since I was sure she would be admitted for drinking so little and throwing up, but never knew I didn’t pack enough.
I was there for 9 days with her. Elisabetta had RSV, which is extremely dangerous for a baby, especially one with a lung condition. I realized then, that is what Rocco had too. He had the same symptoms and he got bad on day 5 of sickness ( which is typically the peak) and Elisabetta was same way.
I am so happy I got her to the hospital right at the first sign of sick symptoms, as she was where she needed to be and I feel like she fought it so well, as she was getting help early on.
I wasn’t sure how things would go, as our last hospital stay was only three days. But, Elisabetta was struggling to drink enough, she was super congested, and breathing harder than usual. When it got to Monday, started to worry, yet still thought maybe she fought this virus and was ok!
Tuesday was her day 5 and that was the day all hell broke loose. I was just sitting there with her, as I always had her laying on me or in my arms the whole time. She all of a sudden struggled to breathe and was turning purple, and I ran out to the hall and grabbed a nurse. I have never been so scared in my life, I didn’t know why this was happening. All of a sudden 8 people were in the room and hooking her up to oxygen,
I sat on the couch in the hospital room and cried. One of the sweet nurses who was there, stood by me and comforted me the whole time. I was SO grateful to have the sweetest nurses and doctors while there. I was by myself for 9 days and never left, so they really became my support and family. My husband had to stay with Rocco, we had no choice. Rocco couldn’t visit with risk of him picking up a sickness,and he also would have a meltdown for sure being in the room there. He has a hard time adjusting to new places.
He did come visit two of the days. He rushed up to the hospital when she started having breathing issues, as my sister came to rescue to watch Rocco while he did.
To say it was the longest 9 days of my life would be true.
Once they got her on oxygen, she was stable and ok. They then did another chest x-ray to make sure no issues with lungs, and did a swab to fins out virus she had. Her x-ray came back clear, and the swab test confirmed RSV.
The one thing that was so dangerous for her to get especially, she got. I wanted to blame myself, as if I didn’t do everything to protect her. I already pulled Rocco out of one therapy he had because I was scared of him getting sick or bringing germs home. But, I didn’t want to pull him out of all, as I knew it would just be off routine for him and it was good for him to get out. But, I can’t blame myself and this season is really bad with sickness.
I am just happy she pulled through. She only ever needed oxygen , deep suctions of the nose those first days lots, and fluid IV. She fought through and did amazing!
I am so grateful to the doctors and nurses for their care, they are heroes to me. I survived off lots of coffee, pizza, and sushi while there. I was happy the cafeteria had good eats.
Like I said, I had to hold down at the hospital with baby and Mike held down at home with Rocco. We made a good team, and it was hard on us to go through this, I missed Rocco so much, as I didn’t see him for 9 days. Thank heaven for face time and the fact that they got out since the weather was nice.
We both struggled, but we got through it and are happy that Elisabetta fought through RSV so well.
I can now say we are really in bubble mode over here, as Rocco is now on lockdown. His therapists will al come to the house now, until after the baby’s surgery in April. We have to be extra cautious now, as surgery is 7 weeks away, and she can’t get sick again. We don’t want surgery delayed and just want this all behind us. I am scared for that day of surgery, but also will feel relief for the first time since last July over her mass.
I am happy to be home, I am very broken and my nerves are shot. I need time to heal as so many bad things have happened one after another, I finally broke with this last bad thing. I am giving myself grace and just slowly taking one day at a time to feel better. I really lost myself, need to find myself again, and need to re-gain strength.
I know I can’t really fully heal until her surgery is over, as I have so much worry each day until that is over. But, I will do my best and live each day to the fullest. We all have to, as life is too short!
Now, we just pray no more sickness! Prayers please that we can do this! We are being extra extra cautious , and hoping to get through the rest of sick season.
Thank you all for being patient with me, for the love, prayers, and support. I have never had such trying times in my life in a matter of a month, and I know this too shall pass.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for still coming here to read, and to follow my journey here and on social media. Life is not supposed to be perfect or always sunshine. I share my life and stories so people can know they are not alone.
Happy Thursday <3